Monday, while at lunch with some friends, Jaden whacked me on the side of my eye with a fork.
I wasn't mad. It was an accident... well, I think it was an accident. Everything is still a little foggy from the temporary amnesia.
It didn't really hurt but I felt a bump form almost instantly. Casually I turned to my pals and mentioned the mishap. There were audible gasps as there mouths fell open and they drew back in horror. "Is it that bad?" I asked. In boy scout like "be prepared" swiftness my friend Kelly whipped out a mirror. OK, so it was a sizable knot and had taken no time turning a wonderful shade of plum.
No big deal. I'm not proud. It was, after all, only temporary and shouldn't take too long to heal, right? Wrong. I swear the thing gets bigger everyday. I woke up today, four days after the incident, and i'm pretty sure it's quadrupled in size. My kids can't look at me without commenting "Your eye is getting worse."
Now i'm starting to wonder if it's ever going to stop growing. There is strong possibility that by the weekend my face will be one big bruise. I'll be driven in to seclusion by the pointing and whispering, my heart broken to know that the sight of my face sends small children running terrified in to the arms of their parents.
If it doesn't start to clear up soon I'm going to have a t-shirt made that says "No. I fell down." in hopes that it will prevent folks from asking the ever so humorous question "Oh, what happened? Did Lee hit you?" for the umpteenth time.